"SAY AGAIN."

(This one has expletives, and anti-American sentiment. Deal with it.)

You know, when I lived in America, 2005-2016, people would often comment on my accent. Often, incomprehension reigned. Which was understandable and fair enough, as a Scottish accent wasn’t one which the average American hears in the wild on a regular basis. I’d get told (not asked) to “Say again,” as the name of this piece attests to. I actually wrote something about it a few years back:

https://whorattledyourcage.blogspot.com/2022/07/things-never-to-say-to-scotsman-in.html

In that article I talked more about what it felt like to both love and absolutely loathe the attention the way I spoke got on a daily basis, in America itself. I got very tired of it, and often avoided conversation with new people, as it was just too tiring and boring having the same damned conversation about where I was from. It was fine when I had known people for a while, and they got me, but it was just annoying as Hell otherwise. Having said that, I do confess I occasionally would say something just to see the effect it would have, especially on women. But most of the time, quite simply, it just wasn’t worth it.

Now. I have been back in Scotland, after my eventful and tedious time living in America, for a decade. So why write another piece about American aural incomprehension of the Scottish accent? Well, it’s quite simple: because I see incredibly ignorant yank cunts commenting on literally every single Scottish video posted online, and it bugs the living shit out of me.

It’s incredible, and it never fails. Never. Some video about any Scottish subject will be posted, featuring people speaking perfectly comprehensibly, if you do even the slightest bit of work – but guaranteed – guaranteed – there will be a few obnoxious yanks whining and sneering one of a select few favourites:

“Are they even speaking English?” (Rich, coming from an American)

“I can’t understand a word they’re saying!”

“We need subtitles here!” (My personal teethgrinder fave)

“Say ‘purple burglar alarm’!” (This comes from a video by the unfunny Limmy, where he made a video saying that, apparently, Scottish people can’t say fucking ‘purple burglar alarm,’ an utterly ludicrous proposition.)

“Love the Irish slang!”

“I’m Scottish too, and I still can’t understand what’s being said!” (You grew up in America, you dumb bastard, you’re not Scottish and you never will be. And there is no such fucking thing as a 'New Scot', while we're at it.)

“My ancestors are Scottish and I can understand perfectly what they’re saying because of it!” (For some reason, on every fucking video, some dumb mongrel yank feels the need to tell you they’re from yankland and they have ‘Scotch’ ancestors, so they’re ‘Scotch’ too, as if anybody cares at all.)

“I’m not drunk enough to understand this!”

“Scottish accents are actually interesting because it’s one of the few that actually get more comprehensible the drunker you are.” (Just pulled that one off a random Scottish-accent vid, and told the maggot to get to fuck for it.)

“Scotland the one country where being an alcoholic ain’t an issue.”  J (Another random one just pulled from a video, another cunt told to get to fuck.)

You get the idea. Scottish incomprehensibility, alcoholism and violent tendencies are the three basic tenets of any idiotic comment on videos. It’s like me going onto American vids and just commenting about school shootings, eating cheeseburgers, and bombing brown children. I am not saying, of course, that stupid comments come only from Americans. They do not. But I would say that the vast majority do, because of their rootless, uneducated obsession with the (in their minds) all-white Old Country drawing them to Scottish topics. I would say that because I hate America, am bigoted, and hate the mentality over there. Hate speech! Hate crime! Yankeedoodledandy tourists are money! So sue me. It's words on a screen, go look at some other page and shut up. I do sometimes spit on the fucking halfwits making idiotic or hateful or mocking comments on videos, and it’s a calming thing to do. Makes no difference in the grand scheme of things, of course, but I find it to be pointless therapeutic fun.

The Scottish accent wasn’t ubiquitous, like it is now, until really the last ten, fifteen years, with Scottish videos now popping up everywhere. I am heartily fucking sick of these halfwit videos where yanks react to any aspect of Scottish existence (and vice versa – reaction videos of any kind are braindead dogshit for morons, by morons), but they are so widespread now that any dumb yank has zero excuse for going into one and not knowing what a Scottish person sounds like. And these idiocy fetishists will never stop. They think they’re being ‘hilarious’ and ‘original’ and ‘funny’ with their syphilitic brainrot comments about subtitles and incomprehension when really, of course, they’re just being, well, stereotypically horrible, hateful, dumb yanks.

Their idiocy truly is mind-blowing. I don’t go onto videos from other countries, watch them, then say I didn’t understand the material. I would just show I am being an eighth-wit without braincell one by doing so. Some yanks talk really fast, especially black ones. I don’t watch black yank videos, then instantly take the piss that I didn’t understand what was being said. “I watched this in complete incomprehension, was under no obligation to do so, and now I can tell you…I had zero idea what was going on, what was being said! Why don’t these guys sound like me? Weirdos! Foreigners! Fools!” (Just for the record, I think black English can be very vibrant) For pity’s fucking sake, give up!

It can drive you mental, of course, like anything else on the net if you let it, and get too deep into it. I have had to train myself not to read the comments section on Scottish videos, or I want to punch the walls in rage. It just brings back boring memories of stateside incomprehension, mockery, ignorance, stupidity, having my accent repeated ridiculously, ad infinitum, ad tedium. But all that belongs to my ignominious American past years. Suffice to say, though, speaking Sots, or having any kind of a Scottish accent, is the only form of aural bigotry sanctioned and gleefuly encouraged by the yank media, or round the world, following their scum example.

America is the Number One Reason that wankers round the world mock and sneer at Scottish accents, and speaking Scots. Grating yank popular media, especially films and telly, has thought it’s ‘hilarious’ for many decades now to present us as incomprehensible, grunting, violent, alcoholic clowns, with every film with a Scottish character getting slings and arrows of outrageous cuntery thrown at them, often about subtitles and drinking. It’s a form of creepy, disgusting bigotry and xenophobia they have codified in their shitty popular media. Here’s their dumb fuck view of Scotland – the world’s first literate nation, a nation of poetry and literature and engineers and world-builders – in an uneducated nutshell, with the genetic debris Joe Rogan and his dumb cunt pal mocking John Davidson (got in there before the racist black yanks did! Mocking the disabled ahead of the cunty curve!):

Mike Myers, with his disgusting “Get in ma belly!” dogshit, needs his Satanic Verse kicked, too, because his risible ‘Scottish’ accent in shit ‘comedy’ films is also responsible for a big part of this ‘hilarious’ mockery. Still, suppose watching his career go to shit after his weird daddy issues anti-classic The Guru is revenge enough on that fucking weirdo.)

It’s incredible, though, the level of abject ignorant idiocy shown by Americans online on Scottish videos, and the couple of examples I posted above are just a small sample of the endless barrage of slavering idiocy you see on any video on any day. And guaranteed some dumb yank will comment! They seemingly just can’t help themselves, they’ve got to loudly announce their flatulent presence and spout their braindead shite about Scotland, often Outlander (a piece of shit show I despise), the usual drivel from the uneducated or lobotomised.

I used to think it was bad enough being in chimpland and getting incomprehension, which was often not really meant, just uneducated or insensitive. Now I can be insulted by yanks just sitting in my own living room and watching a video about some Scottish subject. This country is just a new scene for them to be into online. I used to say it was a shame that it was only yanks with money that got to travel, because the blue collar people over there had lived different, more difficult lives, and had more interesting personalities. Now I just fucking hate them all, and wish they would stay away from this country in any form. Logical and reasoned and rational? No. Satisfying? Yes.

If it’s not bad enough them traipsing round destroying local historical landmarks looking for nonexistent Outlander characters (and if I write what I truly think about that braindead middle class white yank clitrubber fantasy drivel, written by a hack who thinks she’s preening queen of Scotland, I would get arrested), they now stick their nosy wee twitching noses into every crevice of the net being ignorant, arrogant, horrible, xenophobic chimps (aye, the irony, given what I’m saying here, etc. Don’t care.). It’s horrifying, intolerable, and depressing.

Now. It goes without saying that the net is a spent dead entity, the realm of halfwits and lunatics. There’s barely a good thing to say about it these days. But it just galls me so fucking much to have ignorant self-important yank poopflinger chimps ook-ooking their self-absorbed, stupid, sneering, stinking idiocy on every single Scottish topic in sight. There was a drooling MAGA loon arguing in the comments section of the Scotsman newspaper recently, whining and ranting about (sneer) ‘Trump derangement syndrome’ at criticism of that murderous demented lunatic in the paper. Scotland is a historically left-leaning country, you dumb c…ult member, fuck off back to yankland with your utter pish! It’s a Scottish paper! You don’t have to read it! Talk about being the Ugly American abroad…right from the comfort of their own fucking armchairs! Brain donor circus all round.

Maybe I shouldn’t be singling out Americans in this arena. Every nationality does it. But I genuinely hate America (not against the law yet, as far as I know, with more and more people coming round to this point of view), and hate the fact this dying country I am in, being killed ever-quicker by yankland subsuming us culturally, is still highly regarded by braindead clowns in Scotland. The amount of Scottish fucking idiots I see posting videos online addressing Americans, as if those fucks are a different, more interesting, exotic breed, is depressing and risible. America is a failed rogue state, full of morons, with the odd decent person, and should be spat on or mocked, brought down to size, not deified and played up to. I look at this place through different, disgusted eyes since coming back from living in America, and totally despise our slide into cold sociopathic corporate fast food American anti-cultural horror...with the absolute collusion of many of us. Or them, I should say. I feel absolutely zero national solidarity with such wilfully-reality-blind idiots. 

I couldn’t care less what Americans think of Scotland, what they think of our funny needing-subtitles speech or food or drink or Brigadoon-image hills and Highlands and haggis and heather. I couldn’t care less what yanks who come to live here and stick their shitey preening videos online say to their jealous halfwit middle class cunt pals (I despise the American middle class with an unbridled disdain and fury) back in yankland. I couldn’t care less about their decorticated opinions on anything at all, ever. I liked it in the pre-net days when yanks were contained, and you didn't have to encounter their grating idiocy in your own home. America is a rogue nation now, murdering children for Israel and profit, and anybody in this country still revering the worthless failed state because of shitey films and cheeseburgers and the World Cup (which this country should be boycotting)…needs to get a fucking grip. Permanently.

Anyway. That was just me vomiting up my annoyance over a subject that has been building in me for a while. Talk amongst yourselves. If this annoyed you, I couldn’t care less. I don't want to 'debate' you. There is no 'debate' online, just people shouting at each other, and nobody ever changed their mind in world history because of somebody saying something different to their views here. I just wanted to get this hateful subject off my chest. We hear about yankland clownfartery morning, noon, and nightmare. Just thought I would present a different side to things for a change. If you’re an American person I am friends with, and/or you’re on my social media, you’re obviously exempt. As is any other yank with half a brain in their heads. Just felt like making a few scattershot, negative-stereotype-flinging comments about comprehension and nationality. Learned from the dumb yank xenophobic best, after all...

THE (NEVER) END