Hello friends,
neighbours, countrymen, whoever. The album linked to at the end of this intro is a Free Speech statement from and
about Scotland (oddly enough, given the band name), which is becoming a sadly
censorious, tight-anused, small-minded country, taking us backwards instead of
forwards. We used to be warrior poets. Now we're not warriors. Or poets,
either. For the most part.
Two years ago, the Scottish government put forward
the Hate Crime and Public Order (Scotland) Act 2021 (other countries round the
world have their own censorship mechanisms kicking in, too). It became
controversial, sparking fears about Free Speech, including in artistic
expression. It will come into play on April 1st, 2024, a great and appropriate
date for a sick, stupid April Fool's joke. It's been so long since the whole
slow motion legal stooshie started we can't even remember what all the fuss was
about, and are too lazy to research it again, but this album exists because of
it.
Scotland has basically, disgustingly imported
American slow-minded, faddish-fast-food, I'm-offended 'culture' through social
media. We are not impressed. Hence this album. We're just basically saying that
nobody will ever tell us what to say or think or do artwise. We think we're
fine, cos the only law they could probably have gotten us under, the blasphemy law, is being repealed this year too. Not before time! Justice for the male witches burned and drowned
in Scotland that nobody ever talks about, ya bas! As the mad old blaspheming
guy put it in the classic Life of Brian, doing his silly enchained dustkicker
dance: "Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!" There's definitely an analogy to
us to be had there.
Nobody in Scottish history has ever done an album
like this before, and probably nobody ever will again. Which is probably for
the best, really. Taking Notes From Toilet Walls is a twisted, sleazy joke, an
act of sheer headshaker folly. It's been done to chuck a brick through the
faded stained glass window of modern Scottish culture - we've seen better
culture on a pub toilet wall. Everybody is all serious and 'sensitive,' and
fake-caring. it's all boring as fuck, and nobody is trying anything interesting
or even vaguely outrageous anymore - if it's even possible to even 'outrage'
anymore. They're all too busy fighting for government grants, mouthing the
correct momentary attitudes, and trying to look good to their shut-in pals on
anti-social media.
This album's all ultimately just a collection of
ditties about titties and various pretty body bitties, and we hope you enjoy
it. There's no hate on this album, it's all just about joyful sexual
expression. As if all art - not that this is art, really, being honest - has to
be serious! The only people who will hate it will be sexually repressed clowns,
like the miserable blueball sinners all through the mystery of Scotland's
religious history. So to them we say: "Get it ben ye sir, madam, bisex,
trisex, onysex, naesex." Fire on!
JOHNNY CERTEX, SCOTTY MCFOX, AND MIKE HUNT.
Thanks to J.G. Thirlwell for letting us use one of
his lines, from the great song Sick Man on the classic album Hole, as the album
title.
This album is dedicated to Eddie Murphy, Larry
Karaszewski and Scott Alexander for Dolemite Is My Name; also to Rudy Ray Moore
(RIP) GG Allin, Fred Negro, and Jerry Sadowitz, for absolute artistic
inspiration. Thanks to Andrew Leavold for the use of the audio clip from his
excellent doco Pub: The Movie, too. Fucken grouse!
(If that's your sweat-wet skin on the cover, contact
us and we'll give you a photo credit. Photographic evidence required.)
https://scottishculturalcringe.bandcamp.com/album/taking-notes-from-toilet-walls-explicit
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