No English historical and modern repression
No unionist colonial media northern truth suppression
No parasite siphoning of natural oil and gas and life essence
No weekend-boxing street aggression festivals
No nihilist pisshead obsession sessions
No hidden existential despair compression
No roundabout low self-esteem confession
No ostrich-head acknowledgement of costly recession
No always-bubbling frowning drowning oppressed depression
No overpriced tickets, no brave-free-land gouging
No cramped diaspora quick easy societal fixes
No mammy-selling failed ESTA attempts at getting to the procession
No drink-and-drug-drowned subconscious inferiority complexes
No misplaced positive image-mongering charity donations
No melodramatic head-grabbing emotions and proving vaudeville isn't dead
No big swords, no subtitle-needing fast-spoken scurrilous slurred words
No gravy-straining politicians freeloading a flight to scamland
No scrappy underdogs fighting for dignity scraps in the soon-amnesiac street
No negative dipsomaniac stereotype unkissed and ungroped
No drunken desperate dancing fool national identity
No opportunity for inopportune self-abuse left untampered with
No liver lover minutes of pickled organ repairing respite right now
No wearing anything but expensive new tops for the gonnae-crash duration
No sesh-borne too-heavy swearing sessions for the headshaking world
No confused clucking accent-loving judgemental Americans
No claustrophobic bam-filled booze-empty planes
No cultural cringe-worthy playing up to leering cameras
No heidshaking state-of-you-yer-couch-sleeping bored women
No deluded dreams of goshdarn USA wholesomeness
No Boston cop keepie-uppie vital virile virality
No escape from hoofed-pigskin worship and manic street preaching
No kilt-dressed boulevard-dancing angry enraged happy happy joy joy
No vague attempt at social cohesion
No desperate midden revelry
No others-see-us self-awareness introspective Jock shocks
No stagger and stumble reeling unpracticed Celtic jigs
No come-and-get-it square goes and shadow swinging
No post-match wall-pissed bleary contemplative urinalyses
No weary beaten defeated slumped plane-back hunchback stances
No Auld Country dark regression to idiot jakey archetype
No home-returning hangovers and debt despair
No women screaming at frustrated beatings
No Christmas for the weans this year
No self-destruction
No alcoholism
No Scotland
No party.
Slainte.
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