STATE OF THE PITY PARTY


No English historical and modern repression

No unionist colonial media northern truth suppression

No parasite siphoning of natural oil and gas and life essence

No weekend-boxing street aggression festivals

No nihilist pisshead obsession sessions

No hidden existential despair compression

No roundabout low self-esteem confession

No ostrich-head acknowledgement of costly recession 

No always-bubbling frowning drowning oppressed depression

No overpriced tickets, no brave-free-land gouging

No cramped diaspora quick easy societal fixes

No mammy-selling failed ESTA attempts at getting to the procession

No drink-and-drug-drowned subconscious inferiority complexes

No misplaced positive image-mongering charity donations

No melodramatic head-grabbing emotions and proving vaudeville isn't dead

No big swords, no subtitle-needing fast-spoken scurrilous slurred words

No gravy-straining politicians freeloading a flight to scamland

No scrappy underdogs fighting for dignity scraps in the soon-amnesiac street

No negative dipsomaniac stereotype unkissed and ungroped

No drunken desperate dancing fool national identity

No opportunity for inopportune self-abuse left untampered with

No liver lover minutes of pickled organ repairing respite right now

No wearing anything but expensive new tops for the gonnae-crash duration

No sesh-borne too-heavy swearing sessions for the headshaking world

No confused clucking accent-loving judgemental Americans

No claustrophobic bam-filled booze-empty planes

No cultural cringe-worthy playing up to leering cameras

No heidshaking state-of-you-yer-couch-sleeping bored women

No deluded dreams of goshdarn USA wholesomeness

No Boston cop keepie-uppie vital virile virality

No escape from hoofed-pigskin worship and manic street preaching

No kilt-dressed boulevard-dancing angry enraged happy happy joy joy

No vague attempt at social cohesion

No desperate midden revelry 

No others-see-us self-awareness introspective Jock shocks

No stagger and stumble reeling unpracticed Celtic jigs

No come-and-get-it square goes and shadow swinging

No post-match wall-pissed bleary contemplative urinalyses

No weary beaten defeated slumped plane-back hunchback stances

No Auld Country dark regression to idiot jakey archetype

No home-returning hangovers and debt despair

No women screaming at frustrated beatings

No Christmas for the weans this year

No self-destruction

No alcoholism

No Scotland

No party.

Slainte.







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