Step
inside the Jobcentre, minimum rage
Ritual humiliation crawling in your gut
Scrutinised by the big-boned female bouncer
As you step up to tell the clipboard woman
On the front desk your name and woes
Amazonian female bouncer nods to herself
She knows your evil troublemaking face now
Though you’ve never said a word out of place
Seen you in here a few times over the months
Ready to riot, takes no shit from scum like you
As you’re led over to her and she opens the door
To the area away from the decent amiable people
Moving the punters using the computers out
Hannibal Lecter is there in their confused midst
Kill you all without a qualm or a second thought
Sneers, clicks and locks the door behind you
Sentry guard, death camp echoes, and you step
Wearily into the Naughty Dooket they reserve
Just for vicious lunatics just like you and yours
Sit in front of the thick glass window, wonder idly
As ever if it’s bulletproof, certainly not bullshitproof
This whole thing is bullshit, total fucking nightmare
No waking from being branded as a loose cannon,
Unreliable narrator, unemployed vermin, useless
You sit there embarrassed and in pain and shame
Tired and humiliated, black affronted, blue-hearted
Just like you ought to be, fought hard to get here
Well not really, no fight, just a simple raised voice
On the end of phone call from the DWP one day
Same day that your dying relative was in hospital
Having a tube inserted into their stomach, your
Own gut churning and grinding in pain, a glib
Comment from the cunt on the end of the line,
Snapped at her, apologised, she was snotty again
You just hung up, your card marked now, ready
To go off at any moment, stay in this room for
The safety of our staff, and any humiliation and
Pain this causes you is strictly totally meant 100%
We have ways of making you feel small and stupid
And like a danger to others, and we like your hurt
You don’t talk to one of us that way, no way,
What we say goes and we say you’re going in
The Naughty Dooket to see the trial and error
Of your ways, no judge, no jury, kangaroo court
Bouncing you high and mighty look down low
On you, unemployed, in pain, shame, indignity,
All good qualities in a class of cretin we despise
You’ll never get at our alarmed staff member
As she sits there smug behind that assproof glass
Asking stupid questions in a minimum wage town
And if you ask her when this will stop she will say
Rehearsed, bored repeating, that they will check
Up on it eventually, it’s all done from Dundee,
We don’t do it here, but somehow eventually
Never ever seems to roll around and as you look
At her dumb, unconcerned, half-sentient features
You come to realise it probably never will and
All expiry date humiliation bets are on forever
So you finish, sign, try to step out the back door
So the other upstanding citizens can’t see you
But it’s locked, you have to alert the bouncer
If there was a fire here you would die alone
She opens the door and you slip out the back
Unseen by the general populace, the other
Inmates, feeling like total and utter scum and shit
The ritual humiliation has done its work too well
And in a fortnight’s time will do it all again.
Ritual humiliation crawling in your gut
Scrutinised by the big-boned female bouncer
As you step up to tell the clipboard woman
On the front desk your name and woes
Amazonian female bouncer nods to herself
She knows your evil troublemaking face now
Though you’ve never said a word out of place
Seen you in here a few times over the months
Ready to riot, takes no shit from scum like you
As you’re led over to her and she opens the door
To the area away from the decent amiable people
Moving the punters using the computers out
Hannibal Lecter is there in their confused midst
Kill you all without a qualm or a second thought
Sneers, clicks and locks the door behind you
Sentry guard, death camp echoes, and you step
Wearily into the Naughty Dooket they reserve
Just for vicious lunatics just like you and yours
Sit in front of the thick glass window, wonder idly
As ever if it’s bulletproof, certainly not bullshitproof
This whole thing is bullshit, total fucking nightmare
No waking from being branded as a loose cannon,
Unreliable narrator, unemployed vermin, useless
You sit there embarrassed and in pain and shame
Tired and humiliated, black affronted, blue-hearted
Just like you ought to be, fought hard to get here
Well not really, no fight, just a simple raised voice
On the end of phone call from the DWP one day
Same day that your dying relative was in hospital
Having a tube inserted into their stomach, your
Own gut churning and grinding in pain, a glib
Comment from the cunt on the end of the line,
Snapped at her, apologised, she was snotty again
You just hung up, your card marked now, ready
To go off at any moment, stay in this room for
The safety of our staff, and any humiliation and
Pain this causes you is strictly totally meant 100%
We have ways of making you feel small and stupid
And like a danger to others, and we like your hurt
You don’t talk to one of us that way, no way,
What we say goes and we say you’re going in
The Naughty Dooket to see the trial and error
Of your ways, no judge, no jury, kangaroo court
Bouncing you high and mighty look down low
On you, unemployed, in pain, shame, indignity,
All good qualities in a class of cretin we despise
You’ll never get at our alarmed staff member
As she sits there smug behind that assproof glass
Asking stupid questions in a minimum wage town
And if you ask her when this will stop she will say
Rehearsed, bored repeating, that they will check
Up on it eventually, it’s all done from Dundee,
We don’t do it here, but somehow eventually
Never ever seems to roll around and as you look
At her dumb, unconcerned, half-sentient features
You come to realise it probably never will and
All expiry date humiliation bets are on forever
So you finish, sign, try to step out the back door
So the other upstanding citizens can’t see you
But it’s locked, you have to alert the bouncer
If there was a fire here you would die alone
She opens the door and you slip out the back
Unseen by the general populace, the other
Inmates, feeling like total and utter scum and shit
The ritual humiliation has done its work too well
And in a fortnight’s time will do it all again.
END
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