Oh no, here we fucking go again...insensitive content warning...
Another fucking poem about identity!!
You came from hereYou came from there
You came from
Double-barrelled
Every-stupid-fucking-where
Empires of the sun
Graveyards of the sky and slum
And so now here you stand
Feet infirm on Scot-land
Bleeding heart quivering
With justice-wielding quill in hand
(Well maybe that should be a
laptop or tablet, but it doesn't have
the requisite romantic angsty
poet-writer image we need, so
let's just say I'm showing my age
and move swiftly coughing onwards)
It's not your fault you were born
In this land of colonial whiplash
Where the bleat of the oppressed
Sends tsunami-glinting jackpots
Of middle class arts establishment
One-armed bandit grants crossing
Lucky unlucky trembling palms
With silver, and liberal guilt fury
laptop or tablet, but it doesn't have
the requisite romantic angsty
poet-writer image we need, so
let's just say I'm showing my age
and move swiftly coughing onwards)
It's not your fault you were born
In this land of colonial whiplash
Where the bleat of the oppressed
Sends tsunami-glinting jackpots
Of middle class arts establishment
One-armed bandit grants crossing
Lucky unlucky trembling palms
With silver, and liberal guilt fury
It's not your fault
You were born so sensitive
It's not your fault
You were born so conflicted
It's not your fault
You were born so sensitive
It's not your fault
You were born so conflicted
It's not your fault
You were born too late
It's not your fault
You have to now choose an identity
From the trillions on global display
Picking fragments of personality
From the searing red hot shards
Of monitor-explosion glass
And confusion as it blew up
In your pretty ugly little
Internet disservice provider face
So never you mind your fucking
Double-barrelled sawn-off-shotgun
'Identity,' like that fucking means
Anything anymore. You're a bitch,
You're a lover, you're a child,
You're a mother, you're a cock,
You're a cunt, you're both,
You're neither, you're black,
You're white, you're Aberdeen,
You're Johannesburg, you're
Gay straight pansexual pandasexual
Virgin panicked at sexuality
Born into a no-future hetero world...
From the trillions on global display
Picking fragments of personality
From the searing red hot shards
Of monitor-explosion glass
And confusion as it blew up
In your pretty ugly little
Internet disservice provider face
So never you mind your fucking
Double-barrelled sawn-off-shotgun
'Identity,' like that fucking means
Anything anymore. You're a bitch,
You're a lover, you're a child,
You're a mother, you're a cock,
You're a cunt, you're both,
You're neither, you're black,
You're white, you're Aberdeen,
You're Johannesburg, you're
Gay straight pansexual pandasexual
Virgin panicked at sexuality
Born into a no-future hetero world...
However, let me tell you something
Misused miss missus mister
Lack of identity crisis screamer
You're all and none of those things
Cos there is no such fucking thing
As whinyfuck 'identity' anymore
In a corporate sludge hellfest
Like the one we currently
Inherited to uneasily inhabit
So come join the rest of us
We're all just consumer serfs
Drowning in our own mental shite
Please put yer poison pen down
And spare us any more
Of your seclusion confusion
Effluvia ya fucking navel-gazer
Get a fucking round in
An IPA or Soapy Soutar sarsparilla
It's entirely up to you
And if you're nice
I might let you read me yer
Latest daddy-tantrum epic
About what a
Bluntly grumpy cunty
Old white man I sadly am
And how you have
Never forgiven me
For taking away
Your hope
And your iPad as punishment
That time six years ago
For hitting your sister
With some
Really fucking awful
Mangy mongrel doggerel
So now you're going to
Make damned shit sure
I hear all about it
Until the end
Of fucking
Time.
THE END
We're all just consumer serfs
Drowning in our own mental shite
Please put yer poison pen down
And spare us any more
Of your seclusion confusion
Effluvia ya fucking navel-gazer
Get a fucking round in
An IPA or Soapy Soutar sarsparilla
It's entirely up to you
And if you're nice
I might let you read me yer
Latest daddy-tantrum epic
About what a
Bluntly grumpy cunty
Old white man I sadly am
And how you have
Never forgiven me
For taking away
Your hope
And your iPad as punishment
That time six years ago
For hitting your sister
With some
Really fucking awful
Mangy mongrel doggerel
So now you're going to
Make damned shit sure
I hear all about it
Until the end
Of fucking
Time.
THE END
(No fearfully trembling poetic animals were harmed during the making of this production)
PS: Bonus points for noticing the Ministry and Alanis Morrissette quotes jokingly threaded through the text. Famous musical artistes, don't sue me for copyright reasons! Please and thank you.
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